Let’s change the looking glass: How to Make Resolutions That Last and Are Actually Successful

Instead of thinking about the resolutions I wanted to make, this New Year’s Eve I thought about why we make them and why they don’t tend to last.

Studies show that almost 80% of resolutions fail which is a truly depressing thought. I mean, why bother, right?

But what if we could change the framework to improve the outcome?

I think I’d be right in thinking that most of what we hope to change in our lives revolves around swapping bad habits for good ones. Our weight, our diets, exercise habits, spending and saving money, doing better, being better. Isn’t it a little much to expect ingrained habits to change overnight just because a page got flipped on the calendar? It occurred to me that when we make choices out of fear, only half of ourselves is signed up and that’s the half of us that believes the negative voices both inside and out. And that’s because that side of ourselves is influenced by ‘shoulds’ rather than wants.

It doesn’t matter what you should be doing, what you should look like, sound like, or act like. It doesn’t matter how big your bank balance is or how you use your money. What matters is what you actually want for yourself. If no one was watching, if you would never be judged again, how would your life be different?

If you led each day with the thought ‘what if I’ rather than ‘I should’ or ‘I must’, isn’t there a change of feeling when you say those words out loud?

I believe we can feel our lives with the excitement of potential and possibility. I believe that the reason gratitude lists work so quickly to change your mood is because they change how you feel by blocking out the bad.

If you really want to change your eating habits, make list after list of all the amazing, colorful, tasty things you can eat. Don’t treat yourself by reaching for the most convenient sugary snack, treat yourself properly by buying or making something that tastes even better but won’t hurt you or make you feel as though you’ve done something wrong.

If you want to save money, have a goal in mind that excites you and you cannot wait to achieve. Want to get fitter, then don’t punish yourself with exercise you hate, find an activity that makes you feel alive. You get to decide what health looks like and feels like to you. It’s your body and your life.

The key is to look for the win. No matter how small or silly they might seem to an outsider, find tiny things that mean something to you, and reward every milestone you reach. The world often runs on shame, fear, and self-doubt in its goal to make us buy into more things we just don’t need. Fight it back by setting yourself up to succeed this year. Small achievable steps on the path to your biggest goals.

You’ve got this.